LOVE THYSELF AS THY NEIGHBOR

December 25, 2011

Dear Dreamers:

I’m in an open field, it’s nighttime...the sky is clear and filled with stars and the air is brisk.  There’s a bunch of us milling around...seems like we’re camping.  But I also think we’re “on the road,” a group of entertainers, perhaps musicians, resting for the moment and hanging out.  Aside from this general group activity, all I really remember from this dream is that one of the men wanted to have sex with my husband, which he seemed willing to try.  I was shocked, and woke up not knowing what happens next!

***

Interesting.  The first thing that occurred to me about this dream is that I sometimes think others get the best part of my husband.  That is, I believe he’s funniest, smartest and most engaging when we’re in the company of other people.  When we’re at home together, it often feels to me like we take each other for granted, and somehow that wonderful feeling of comfort turns to stupor.  I wonder...is this a Christmas message...be grateful for what I have and don’t take the gifts for granted?  Perhaps.  And if I consider that all the characters in the dream represent parts of me, perhaps it’s a message to appreciate myself more, too.  And to love myself as well.  This makes sense, given that before falling asleep I was being highly self-critical for over-indulging in rich foods and mulled wine last night.  How wrong it is to be cruel to ourselves in this way! What a waste of time and energy...and what exactly do I create with these thoughts?  


Once again I am reminded how much our late night activities and thoughts influence our sleeping state and our dreams.  

I am grateful for the wisdom of the night movies, especially when they remind me to be kinder to myself.

What do you think?

‘Til next time...

Happy dreams!

Bev

THE BIG HOUSE

December 15, 2011

Dear Dreamers:

I’m outdoors with several friends, sitting in the bright sun in the middle of a park in the middle of a city.  I tell one woman that I may not go out for dinner with them and she starts to cry...”it’s not the same without you”, “it’s no fun without you”.  

The next scene, we’re all getting off a bus that runs right through a residence.  It’s a beautiful huge white marble home.  One side of the house is completely open with steps 50 feet wide leading up to the sidewalk.  Directly across the street is a huge white marble office building shining brightly in the sun.  We’re in one room of the home that looks like a bedroom.  It’s very colorful...brick-color walls and big colorful prints on the bedspread, curtains and lampshades.  There’s a huge water bed in the center of the room.   We were watching a theatrical performance of some kind, but it was not sexual.  Suddenly we’re in the kitchen heading out of the home.  The family is eating breakfast.  We excuse ourselves, somewhat embarrassed to be intruding.  They are very nice, telling us it’s ok, no problem, etc.  I wonder aloud why they bought a home with a bus running through it...it seems they were ok with the fact that the bus only comes through a few times a day, and besides it’s a magnificent place, so it’s worth it to them.

***

This one puzzled me, so it’s been a few days since the dream ‘til now.  Again, let’s assume all parts of the dream are me.  It would seem that all parts of me want to be acknowledged and accepted, and miss me when I abandon them. But what are those qualities I may be leaving behind?  Perhaps they’re unwanted things, such as pettiness, impatience, dissatisfaction.  Those are qualities I am happy to leave behind!  Because of the general good feelings resulting from this dream, I don’t get the sense I'm leaving behind positive qualities, such as creativity, compassion or joy.  


Ok, so what about the house with the bus running through it...

If I am the house, big, “magnificent”, with direct open access to an even grander part of me, why am I just visiting?  I realize it's not me that's visiting...I am that place.  Rather it is aspects of me that are visiting, that come and go, and the bus just brings them and drops them off as appropriate.  The bus is the conduit to the plethora of shifting emotions and experiences, bringing them in and taking them away.  So I realize this is about allowing and awareness of the connections with all the roles I play and the concurrent various internal experiences I encounter as a result.  And it's also about allowing these conscious connections in order to bring me closer to who I really am spiritually.  Perhaps I’m also trying to connect my sexuality (the bedroom) and personal expansiveness with the business-like or spiritual, either of which could be represented by the big office building across the street.

The one thing I am clear about in this dream is that this was a good-feeling dream.  I felt free in this dream, enjoying who I was where I was and getting a good chuckle about the bus.

What do you think?

‘Til next time...

Happy dreams!

Bev

LOVE AND OTHER JEWELS

December 13, 2011

Dear Dreamers:

I’m sprawled on a big bed with my brother...both of us clothed, just talking about stuff...about life.  There’s clothes piled everywhere as if one or both of us just moved into this place and we’re still arranging things.  Immediately the scene switches to us walking on the street, same thoughtful demeanor.  Finallly, we’re in front of a big multi-story home.  Whereas there was a lot of color in both the previous scenes, this one is all white and ethereal looking.  We’re sitting on the steps at the entrance, and my question to him is “does he feel fulfilled?” His answer is “yes” and we talk about that some more.  While we’re talking, I’m picking up pieces of jewelry that are laying on the ground...finely carved ivory, silver, abalone, unknown semi- and precious stones.  I wonder who left them and why.

***

If I consider that my brother, in this case, is another part of me, the male (or as Carl Jung identified it, the animus), I can see this dream as being about integration of the male/female sides of me.  As there is no conflict between us in this dream, and in fact we seem very connected, I am assuming that my unconscious is telling me I am accepting of both my masculine and feminine sides, which is a good thing.  

I wonder what prompted the attention to this topic, and the first thing that comes to mind are a couple of recent comments I made, one at a party and one at a theatrical event.  Both were rather “unlady-like” comments, but very funny.  I may have offended a few folks by them, but others, especially my husband, lauged.  This felt good and gave me much satisfaction.  In fact, the more I think about it, I’m happy to realize I received satisfaction and no shame from my behavior, which is definitely a step up for me.  In the past, I frequently second-guessed or censored myself in order to avoid appearing inappropriate or offensive.  So this says, to me, that I have little fear around being judged harshly, and am more accepting and trusting of that ribald and very honest part of myself.  I like that.  

As for the big house and the jewels...The house almost looks like heaven’s doorway, heaven’s gate.  Sitting on the doorstep, we talk about lofty sentiments, the kinds of things one thinks about, I imagine, at the end of one’s life.  I see the jewels as the nuggets of wisdom and other gifts that have come to me throughout the years.  This is a reminder for me to not forget the important things I have learned, but rather to embrace and re-integrate them into my way of being.  It is pleasing to know there are lots of jewels available to me.

What do you think?

‘Til next time...

Happy dreams!

Bev

SAVE THE WHALES

December 9, 2011

Dear Dreamers:

I’m on what appears to be a smallish Viking ship with one other person...a young, hunky guy.  We’re on a mission to find the sea food that we must eat in order to kill the snakes that kill the whales.  It’s dark, cloudy and windy and the sea is rough but not threatening.  We will find this food...a small, brown, slimy round type of seaweed...in the caves along the shoreline.  We finally reach the spot and pull into the cave.  We both dive off the ship, and down into the dark water for the magical food.  Coming up with bags full of the seaweed, we return to the ship, eat the brown soft chips, and watch as the snakes die.  Our mission is a success and we start to return home when I realize I left my purse back in the cave.  He swims back for it and returns....

And then I find myself in a theater.  Friends are giving a performance.  It’s dark and the house is full.  After a while, my husband and I sneak out...we’ve see the upcoming part which is on film...and we have to ask an important question of someone.  So we go out into what we believe will be the lobby, and the place transforms into what looks like a school hallway.  What was the auditorium is now a lunch room, with long tables and high-schoolers eating.  We find our performer friends and ask them what happened, and get no response.  I awake.

***

I’m in the water again.  For me, I believe water represents new life, possibility, creation.  I am in the birthing process of creating something new in my life, and though there are challenges, it is “not threatening.”  Eating the food that kills the snakes is doing what I must do to “kill” old ways of being in order for the new, more evolved (the whales) part of me to survive and thrive.  Though I may have left behind some valuables (the purse), they are easily retrieved.

I guess the transformation of the theater into a school is a way of indicating I am not an observer, but a participant of life...even better, a learner.

What do you think?

‘Til next time...

Happy dreams!

Bev

LIVING THE DREAM

December 8, 2011

Dear Dreamers:

This is something I wrote several days ago.  I hope you enjoy.

On my hike in Griffith Park today, it occurred to me that, in a way, I’m living my dream.  On the hills, I’m not the mundane over-the-hill (no pun intended) person I sometimes feel like...no!... I’m an explorer, an adventurer, a thrill-seeker!  And I’m out there on my own!

Hiking in Griffith Park is a spectacular experience.  The park is a huge expanse of hills, trails, places to play for people of all ages.  And tucked in the midst of such committed civilization, it’s a great wonder and respite.  The trails wind sensuously around the hills, in and out of the sunshine and the shade, up, down and around, leading to new experiences around each turn.  Taking a new path is an adventure...who knows where you’ll end up!

This is my favorite time of year.  The air is cool, brisk, damp.  In the sunshine, I love to feel the warmth on my skin...holding my face up toward the sky, feeling the sun’s caress, I’m in love.  In the shade, I get to experience the cool breezes and enjoy the engulfing smells.  Ahhh, it’s heaven.

Usually I hike alone. Naturally, there’s lots of time for expansive thoughts and observations. In the fresh air and sunshine, my mind clears, my body energizes and my spirit expands.  I wonder a lot... what those people are talking about, how that tree stands so straight with half it’s base and roots hanging out of the side of the hill, how that little girl managed to hike up so high.  I see squirrels playing, birds soaring... Once I saw a coyote and, quick as that, he disappeared. I wonder if these animals are permanent residents here, or just transients.  I wonder what it would be like to live here, in the woods.   The other day two doe scampered across the path right in front of me.  I caught my breath, then laughed with another woman, sharing the excitement...the exhilaration of wildlife!

I almost always have a smile on while I’m walking....I’m sooo happy.  I smile at fellow travelers, sometimes saying hello.  Most of the time, my greeting is returned.  I don’t take it personally if it’s not, but then I wonder why it’s not and what’s going on for those people.  I wonder, and I’m grateful, that not more people are on the trails.  Today I heard a woman, hiking with two others, complaining about “the fucking baby.” I didn’t hear the context...but in the surrounding silence and beauty, her words were jarring.  I wonder why others go there...just to get exercise, fresh air, sunshine, be in nature?  What I believe is, Griffith Park is a haven in my back yard just for me.

I love all the sensual aspects of being in this place, but mostly I love the smells.  The exertion of the hike makes me breathe deeply, and I consciously take in those breaths analyzing each one for it’s special flavors.  Surrounded by all sorts of foliage...trees and bushes.... I sense a little evergreen here, a hint of rosemary there...a grand repast for my nose!

Sometimes I hike with my friend Julie.  She and her husband are real HIKERS....for miles, for hours.  Sometimes they go to exotic places, like the Angeles Forest, but she loves Griffith Park, too.  Most of the time, after our hikes we stop at Trails, the cafe at the base of one of the paths leading up to the Observatory.  There we enjoy superb coffee and scrumptious food and it’s always a joy to hang out at that cozy spot after a good workout.  I love being able to share this experience with a good friend.

I began this essay by claiming I’m “living the dream.”  It has been, and continues to be, a deep desire to spend more time in nature.  Happily, I am able to accomplish that goal through the bounty of nature that surrounds me as an Angelino...the ocean, the mountains.  Given the choice of any place to live, this will certainly do for now!

‘Til next time...

Happy (day) dreaming!

Bev

THE JOURNEY

December 6, 2011


Dear Dreamers:

It was a sunny, pleasant day, much like today, and I was leading some sort of tour group.  We were on a bus that broke down on a city street.  The group was calm and pleasant, and I gave each of them $200 for the trouble.  As new busses came along, I transferred whoever I could to that bus.  I spent some time determining who who transfer and when, but finally decided to move older folks first, then those in a real hurry.  There was calm and conversation and a joyful atmosphere.  Then the bus moved to the countryside to an obvious tourist place   I’m not sure what the attraction was or why we were there, but we were all shopping for souvenirs.  There was a line of people coming and going in a very relaxed way from a grey and brown brick one-story building, with a large door and huge beveled windows.  It was altogether charming.  The grounds were well-kept...green, soft lawn, neatly trimmed bushes, beautiful colorful flowers. People came and went.  I awoke looking forward to sharing my husband’s birthday day with him.

At first I wasn’t sure what this was about, but as I sat back and just looked at what I’d typed, it became clearer to me.  Perhaps it is that I’m a traveler through life, like all of us...on a journey, going somewhere, enjoying the experience.  I’m both participant and observer, and am able to share the experience with lightness and grace.  As I am the bus, it seems the “breakdown” is the leaving behind of old ways of being, and the steady moving onto the new busses is the concurrent adoption of new, healthier and happier ways of being.  I like this idea.  As I am the charming building, I am the new experience of myself.  I sit easily in the sunshine while things and people come and go...I remain balanced and peaceful, trusting in my endurance.  So while this dream initially seemed to be innocuous, on examination I realize it is a profound confirmation and affirmation of the life-enhancing shifts I have been creating for myself in my way of being.  Hooray! 

'Til next time... 


Happy dreaming!


Bev