Nov. 29
Dear Dreamers:
I was at a rustic retreat with my husband Mark, and he and I were starting to hike up a mountain. It was beautiful...lots of foliage, fresh smells, a sunny and perfect day. I forgot something...perhaps water...so we went back to the lodge to get some. There was a group of women there, also on a retreat, and I joined their conversation. It was great sitting around talking, sharing. I especially connected with one of them, Lena. We seemed to know each other in a deep, kind of spiritual way. I went to get tea and after I filled the cup it slipped off the counter and broke in half, spilling the water into a puddle. Not a big deal and Lena helped me clean it up. My husband and I then went to look at the other guest rooms. They were all off-size and strangely arranged. We didn’t get to ours because I was then at an old, run-down wooden nearby garage, overgrown with grass and clearly not in use for some time. I was closing the gas cap on my 1972 Buick, and the cap broke, spewing gas. Luckily Lena came by with the police--she was lost and they were going to take her where she wanted to go. They offered to help me with the car, tried to fix it but couldn’t. They were heading to get the mechanic when I awoke. Somewhere in this dream my hair was falling out.
This was interesting because there were a few themes which haven’t come up for me before. Going up the mountain (moving forward, reaching new heights) was interrupted, and could coincide with the hair falling out, which can indicate either fear of aging, losing sexuality, ill health or feeling powerless. Same with the spilled water. If water represents new life, creativity, growth or healing, the fact that it spilled, and I couldn’t get ahold of it, indicates to me a loss of those possibilities. All of this makes sense for me, given where I’m at in my life right now. Perhaps it felt safer to be with the women with whom I had little emotional or sexual charge and with whom I was able to be myself without fear of rejection. The car, in a broken down garage, was the car I drove to Los Angeles when I first moved here. Also, leaking gas, unable to move forward, broken down...a mirror image of me. Bottom line, I believe this is a reflection of fears of aging, becoming unattractive and ill and feeling powerless in the world.
Wow. Up until now, the dreams I have remembered were positive and life-affirming, and indicated powerful moving forward and upward with expanding creativity. This is the first time I can remember waking with this defeatist energy! My guess is that it has to do with not getting much sleep last night. Feeling frustrated, tired and annoyed at this old pattern (part of which is the fact that my husband snored and woke me several times) the sleeping trouble globalized into frustrations with other aspects of my life, all of which infected my dreams... a clear expression of my attitudes as I drifted in and out of sleep at 7 a.m.! This is such a palpable indication of the importance of what we tell ourselves and how those words affect us not only consciously, but subconsciously as well. In the future, I will only think happy thoughts as I drift off!
‘Til next time...
Happy dreaming!
Bev
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